Welcome Back, Old Friend

No apps. No GPS. No endless access to Twitter, Facebook, or iTunes Ping. Simple. Elegant. Welcome back, old friend. It has been too long.

Teachers and Saints

Applying Scripture to our individual experience is difficult for each of us, often as much because we fail to understand the signifigance of our own situation, the context in which we are applying it, as because we fail to understand the original, objective meaning of the text. We live in complex patterns of need, of opportunity, and of sin, and the inference we really ought to draw from Scripture is often the most difficult to see, because of the complexity and sin in our lives. This is why we need teachers and the fellowship of the Saints

-From All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes by Ken Myers.

A Fullness of Time

O GOD, who hast prepared for those who love thee such good things as pass man’s understanding; Pour into our hearts such love toward thee, that we, loving thee above all things, may obtain thy promises, which exceed all that we can desire; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

-Collect appointed for the Sixth Sunday after Trinity

The Lord has prepared good things for those that love Him, as has been made evident in this past year. May 4th, 2009, in the midst of a personal spiritual breaking point, I first began praying the Morning and Evening Offices. I attended my first Anglican Mass the Wednesday before Whitsunday, 2009. In July of the same year–in the season of Trinity–I attended the Anglican Way Institute (Anglicon) in Plano, Texas. While in Texas I met Nicole, whom less than a year later, became my wife.

This Trinity season marks a year of Incredible change in my life. It marks the completion of a year-long commitment to living a monastic lifestyle. Becoming a monk might not be practical for many of you, and neither was it for me. I didn’t take formal Holy Orders, but I was intentional about where I lived, and the role the local parish would have in this lifestyle. This commitment fostered not just change, but a rich fullness that I hadn’t experienced in quite a while. Coming home to the Church “Ancient” and meeting my wife were the bricks of last year. Everything else was mortar, leaving not even enough room between brick and mortar to slide a sheet of paper through. Our parish priest asked if this past year has felt like a year (observing that time often flies by when we are busy).  I can answer without pause “yes”, the previous 365 days I have lived slowly in the present.

Some of the aforementioned mortar is composed of my quest to reclaim my education. This has been a tedious endeavor, breeding patience despite my impatience. God has blessed Nicole and I with a complete set of the Great Books of the Western World. We have begun to read the set, starting with the first volume The Great Conversation by Robert Hutchins. This, companioned with Mortimer Adler’s How to Read a Book, is proving to be a great start to the Great Books. More on self-education as time goes by.

I want to finish up this post by saying the greatest investment I have made this past year has been the implementation of a structure or rule of life that is found in the 1928 Book of Common Prayer. Allowing the liturgies of Western  Christianity to permeate my being and placing myself under the spiritual authority of the Church (by way of a parish priest) have been monumental in growing towards my deification. We as humans–and maybe more so as American humans–have no desire to be ruled. Ironically, we are slaves, no mater the master (sin or God).

St Ambrose on Trinity III

“Who are these three persons: the shepherd, the woman, the father? Is not Christ the Shepherd, the Church the woman, and God the Father? Christ Who took upon Himself your sins bears you upon His own Body; the Church searches for you; the Father receives you back. As a shepherd He brings us back, as a mother He looks for us, as a father He clothes us. First, mercy, second, intercession, third, reconciliation; each to each; the Redeemer comes to our aid, the Church intercedes for us, the Creator restores us to Himself. It is the same divine mercy in each operation; but grace varies according to our merits.”

-From St Ambrose’s sermon on St. Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 15

Midwexas?

Yesterday snow fell in Dallas. Not the mere dusting that annually graces parts of the state, but a real snow. A Midwest-style snow. A “Midwexas” snow.  Big beautiful flakes fell all day, leaving around 12 inches of accumulation on God’s good ground.

Mesquite, the city where my Fiance sleeps, sustained a spectacular slew of snow.

Maggie, Nicole’s new vehicle, resting in the white snow banks of North Texas.

A Pilgrim’s Progress

No, not the thick allegory of Bunyan, but rather a very real journey that began July 8^th of this year. July 8^th found me in Dallas, attending the annual Anglican Way Institute (Anglicon), a conference held in Plano, Texas. This story begins that evening, in Mesquite, at the home of my dear friends, the Linebargers.

Wednesday, July 8^th, 20 hours, 26 minutes. That’s when I found myself sitting in a borrowed Jeep Grand Cherokee, outside if the Barger’s home. I was on the horn with Robbie Mezger because 1) we agreed to drink beer that night, and 2) I certainly didn’t want to go inside the house. As it turned out, Rob was all tuckered, and wanted to reschedule for the next evening. Imagine my dismay, for I absolutely did not want to meet…

In 2006 I remember perusing Chris’s blog, reading descriptions of his recent trip to ex-Yugoslavia. Among the words on the screen were pictures. I knew all of the people in the photographs, save one.

Who was this beautiful young woman traveling with my friends? I scanned the words written in close proximity, searching for clues to her identity. “Nicole.”

Nicole…de Martimprey…aka Pilgrim? She has a blog! She has a blog, and within the blogosphere she goes by the name “Pilgrim!” (click link to “Pilgrim”).

Who is this “Pilgrim?” How is it that my friends know this woman, and I don’t? I commented on her blog, exclaiming that I too hoped to visit ex-Yugoslavia.

Shortly after this discovery, I conversed with either Chris or Rob–I don’t remember which– inconspicuously asking who this “Nicole” is. “She’s Anglican.” Got it.

Realizing that Rob couldn’t be persuaded to go get that beer, I slowly made my way to Chris and Leslie’s front door. She was in there. Nicole. That very “she” from the pictures on Chris’s blog, three years prior. I knew she was in there because I knew what time she would be arriving in Dallas. Not only was she attending Anglicon, but she and I were both staying with the Bargers. I didn’t want to be there when she arrived. I didn’t want to meet her because…

I slowly opened the door, and out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful woman in a black dress…

The beginning of the end.

I tried to b-line it to my room, but the way was blocked by other house guests. From behind me, I heard the words “hello.” I turned, and there she was, in that black dress, hand stretched out in greeting. What could I do, except “hello” back?

“ I’m Nicole. I work with Owls in Northern California. Would you like to see a video of my owls?”

“yes.”

We seemed to always be in the same place during conference events and extra curricular moments. She attributes this to the fact that I was always around people she wanted to be around, but I know better.

Nicole left that Sunday. Chris and I drove Nicole to the airport after eating lunch at a fried seafood restaurant. We exchanged contact information at the entrance to Love Field (irony?), and kept in contact thereafter.

Since then, Nicole and I both moved to Dallas from our respective homes in California and Iowa; She to pursue training in midwifery, and I to experience Christ through sacramental living by participating in a thriving Anglican parish.

Our first date was a U2 concert in October. It feels pretty great to be able to say that

We define our relationship with various terminologies. I believe the easiest to use is “dating.” I more often than not refer to her as my “Girlfriend.” This nomenclature has inherent problems within our world’s culture, but on the whole is acceptable. Basically, it’s better than “Courtship Partner,” or my hands-down favorite “Courtmate.”

So, if you don’t know her…

Some call her Rosemary. Her full name is Nicole Suzanne Sally Brenda Marie de Martimprey. She prefers to replace “Sally” with “Violet,” though that’s not quite legal. I address her as “Nicole,” but I am trying to call her “Nee-coe,” as that is the correct pronunciation.

This is a picture of us, taken by me, during a delightful afternoon at the Dallas Arboretum. Take note of the fact that she remains beautifully genuine, though my smile is painfully contrived. I feel comfortable behind the camera, and uneasy in front of it. After fifteen to twenty attempts at a good picture of us together, Nicole concluded that we should just let Leslie take it. I agree.

Nicole is from a grouping of small communities in the High Sierra Mountains of Plumas County, California.

She wears her love of God’s creation on her face. She has the most revealing blue/splash-of-yellow-eyes I have ever seen. They shine with a bedeviling brilliance when she is happy, and dim when she is troubled. She has passionate sensitivity that is often overshadowed by her immense strength. She is very intelligent and very funny.

She is nerdy and weird – like me – but in a graceful manner. She uses patchouli soap. I used to hate the smell of patchouli. Now I can’t go to the grocery store without finding the soap isle, locating her brand, and smelling.

She helps me to love people, because I get to see people through her eyes. She names everything, or rather everything “tells” her its name (her car’s name is Harold).

She loves owls, but dislikes the “Barn” and “Barred” variety because they prey on “Spotties.” She belongs in a Wes Anderson movie because she is so interesting.

She is proud of her French heritage, and ashamed of the city she was born in. Her favorite movies are “A Love Song for Bobby Long”, “So I Married an Axe Murderer”, and “Tommy Boy.” She is a free spirit that prefers high churchmanship.

She likes both her living space and her whiskey neat. She wants to replace her teeth with dentures because it would be financially practical. She has a beautiful voice and an ugly Scottish flannel shirt.

She has uncharacteristic handwriting that uncharacteristically changes with the pen she is using. It’s hard to nail her down.

She reads quickly, eats slowly, laughs heartily, sneezes loudly, and loves genuinely. She knows a couple of cheap card tricks that she is really proud of.

She loves the word “Languorous,” and hates the word “moist.” She wishes I wouldn’t have used that word in the previous sentence. Unfortunately there was no other way to make it comprehendible to the reader, so she will just have to live with it. Seriously, what was I supposed to do? M***t?

She loves Jesus more than she loves me. I love Jesus more than I love her, which empowers me to truly show her love, and truly—though imperfectly—know who she is.  She is one of the most vivid sacramental things in my life.  She is an outward and visible sign of God’s inward, spiritual grace.

So, I am crazy about this woman. I want you all to know that I am crazy about this woman— Nicole Suzanne Sally Brenda Marie de Martimprey—I am madly in love with her. Full stop.

New

So much of my world has become new.  My brain is still masticating all this newness.  In the midst of such grand adventure, I have found sanctuary in the “old” or “ancient.”

Maybe this sanctuary has found me.

Grant unto me, my Lord, that with peace in mind I may face all that this new day is to bring. Grant unto me grace to surrender myself completely to Thy holy will. Instruct and prepare me in all things for every hour of this day. Whatsoever tidings I may receive during the day, do Thou teach me to accept them calmly, in the firm conviction that all eventualities fulfill Thy holy will. Govern Thou my thoughts and feelings in all I do and say. When things unforeseen occur, let me not forget that all cometh down from Thee. Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonable toward every member of my family and all other human beings, that I may not cause confusion and sorrow to anyone. Bestow upon me, my Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day and to bear my share in all its passing events. Guide Thou my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive, and to love. Amen. -portion from Orthodox morning prayer

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